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Right now, with no advance notice, and for reasons we're not going to bother explaining, you must get rid of one album from your record collection. Which title gets the chop?
Tunde Adibimpe: Kennedy speaks to the Negroes I know he was the illest president and all, but honestly,
the shit had no beats, and my man's flow was a little wooden. Did you ever see
Bullworth? That's how to condescend. If you're going to be that a well meaning but tactless idiot on wax, at least get a dope producer on the tracks like 50 cent did. FIDDY! FIDDDDDDDDY!
You wake up one morning and discover that you've grown two feet taller overnight. How does it affect your life?
Tunde Adibimpe: A crotch-level world is a player's paradise, baby. I'm not sure what that means, but I know it must be
the case.
What three things must a town or city have in order for you to be able to live happily there?
Tunde Adibimpe: 1. Trees. 2. Grass. 3. Absolutely no buildings of any sort.
What's more important: good music or good food? And why?
Tunde Adibimpe: This and other pressing questions will be answered when we release our limited edition EP The Yummy on a delicious butter-smeared tortilla. Why? Because it will be 45 minutes of unique songsmithing that you can listen to then fry up and enjoy with salsa. Ole! TV on the Radio's The Yummy! Out on Touch and Go Records in Octember. Look out!
Would you rather be anal probed by aliens or have a root canal without anaesthetics? Explain your choice.
Tunde Adibimpe: Yes I would. Because that is my final answer.
Why does the wheel in the sky keep on turning?
Tunde Adibimpe: Are you on drugs? That shit will kill you, dawg.
You've just been elected to the US Senate (if you're not a US citizen, please either pretend you are or move forward on the assumption that you've taken a similar government-type position in your own country). What's on your agenda legislation-wise?
Tunde Adibimpe: No one over the age of 30 can say anything unless they are holding a government issued conch shell.
Anyone found in violation of this decree will mauled by a pack of government issued dingos. Is it dingoes?
I should look that up before I'm emperor. I mean...senator. MWUAHAHAHAHAHhah...ahem.
If the moon were made of cheese, what kind of cheese would it be made of? Please explain your reasoning.
Tunde Adibimpe: If the moon were actually found to be actually made of actual cheese, it would make me question my chosen faith with utmost scrutiny, and I'm afraid I'm just not willing to go there in these troubled times. My reasoning: God doesn't play dice, but she'll send an enormous hunk of gouda to illuminate the night sky? Gouda? Is it gouda? I'm sorry God, I didn't mean to ask! Aw man, now I'm all a-feared.
You've just won a contest in which the prize is your "dream car". What make and model of car do you choose? (And no, you can't just take the money.)
Tunde Adibimpe: The '87 Nissan Superintifrica. No doubt.
You can go back in time and kill one person without disrupting the space/time continuum, creating a paradox and causing the universe to collapse upon itself. Who would it be?
Tunde Adibimpe: Adam, the biblical Adam, I'm sorry, that's just how I feel. No doubt.
As an experiment, you spend an entire day with a stick of butter duct-taped to your forehead. What do you learn?
Tunde Adibimpe: Patience.
What's the best way to spend a rainy day?
Tunde Adibimpe: Crying. Again.
What is the coolest animal to watch a nature show about?
Tunde Adibimpe: The howler monkey.
What do you do now, as a result of widespread internet access, that you didn't do ten years ago?
Tunde Adibimpe: Fear for my life on a daily basis.
Who did you last give flowers and why?
Tunde Adibimpe: My mom. Cuz she birthed me and all, and she's cool.
The thong: instrument of social change or harbinger of dark times?
Tunde Adibimpe: Totally.
The police have just nailed you for some kind of minor infraction. What were you most likely to have been doing?
Tunde Adibimpe: Um, I'm black, so apparently it could have been anything or nothing.
Probably nothing, though. I would say, me, personally, nothing. The
police recently stopped my bandmate for having a beard and carrying a guitar
case. He is also "of color". How they could tell he was a terrorist without actually having heard him
play still baffles me to this day.
Would you shop at a supermarket run by ninjas? Why or why not?
Tunde Adibimpe: No, because it's like someone who is obviously a great writer or painter working at a gas station, you're paying the bills, but you're not really satisfied, and that shows in your performance. You feel slighted in some way, and you're taking it out on customers. I don't want some bag boy lining my back with poisoned shuriken because I didn't tip him enough or something. I say, let the ninjas loose in the wild where they can rob princes and do the dirty work of feudal lords to their little ninjin hearts' content.
What article (or articles) of clothing do you wish you never had to wear again? Why?
Tunde Adibimpe: Pants. Time.
Taking into account all current political, social and economic situations, which country would you most like to be and why?
Tunde Adibimpe: None. It's too sad to be a country nowadays.
Tell us about your weirdest experience with a fan.
Tunde Adibimpe: Having someone come up to us and say, "I really liked what you guys are doing" was pretty strange.
When was the last time you had an entire day to yourself, and what did you do with it?
Tunde Adibimpe: I can't remember. I probably went for a walk.
What's the stupidest thing you've ever done while drunk? If you're a non-drinker, please limit your self-righteous response to 25 words.
Tunde Adibimpe: Taxes.
What's your favorite thing to do when you can't sleep?
Tunde Adibimpe: Sneak into my roomates' rooms and watch them sleep. Sorry guys, I thought you should know. I need help. Help me.
What are your fellow band members' most irritating habits? If you have no fellow band members, what are your own most irritating habits?
Tunde Adibimpe: Are you trying to get me killed? We have shows to do.
You're making a guest appearance as yourself in the TV show of your choice. What's the show, and how do you fit into the plot?
Tunde Adibimpe: The show is Friends. I am the black person in the coffee shop. Obviously I am visiting from Atlanta,
and have no lines. Look out!
In three sentences or less, please give your opinion on the current state of the world.
Tunde Adibimpe: Well, it's better than it was, but not nearly as bad as it's going to get.
A national guardsman from Ohio recently changed his name to Optimus Prime, after the Transformer. If you could change your name to anything, what would you change it to?
Tunde Adibimpe: Sars Cuddleton. No doubt.
We're considering lobbying the government to pass a law banning the use of certain overplayed words -- for example, "new", "flaming" and "electric" --in band names. What other words should be banned?
Tunde Adibimpe: Radio.
Would you rather tour the world for a year, living out of hotels and minibuses, playing to sellout crowds but estranged from all meaningful interpersonal contact, or be crowned the next indie god(s) but be damned to a lifetime of college radio airplay, widespread obscurity and eventual golden years filled with soundtrack work?
Tunde Adibimpe: No, that all sounds terrible. Pass.
What's the most un-rock and roll hobby or interest you have?
Tunde Adibimpe: Being okay.
What's the stupidest thing a reviewer ever said about you or your band?
Tunde Adibimpe: Fader magazine: "We don't get it."
Some of us have side gigs bartending. Help us out by making up a drink that we can name after you and sell to underaged girls in midriff tee-shirts.
Tunde Adibimpe: Just rename the "vodka tonic" the "TV on the Radio", because the two names share a couple of letters already, and moreover, "vodka tonic" is so obvious and generic. Double the price and if anyone says, "hey, this is just a vodka tonic," tell them firmly that it is a "TV on the Radio". If they insist further, hand them a packet of spicy brown mustard and say, "well, now it's really a TV on the Radio. Look ,I have a lot of patrons here, so that's 18 bucks." Do not say another word until you receive the money and an adequate tip. Take the extra cash and buy yourself somethin' nice.
Which is a better reason for an R rating -- pointless, arbitrary violence or over-the-top kinky sex that has nothing to do with the story?
Tunde Adibimpe: Ratings. Ha.
Which would be worse -- going three rounds with Mike Tyson, or having sex with Anna Nicole Smith?
Tunde Adibimpe: They've both suffered enough. I see no need to vanquish either of them any further.
What's in your fridge right now?
Tunde Adibimpe: Fridge stuff.
What advice would you give to Michael Jackson?
Tunde Adibimpe: Buy our record!
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TV on the Radio wowed us earlier this year -- first opening for The Fall in Chicago, and then with their debut EP, Young Liars. The band, now expanded to five members, drops its first full-length in February, 2004. No doubt.
-- George Zahora
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