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You wake up one morning and discover that you've grown two feet taller overnight. How does it affect your life?
Jennifer Taylor: I would need to buy new pants.
Would you rather be anal probed by aliens or have a root canal without anaesthetics? Explain your choice.
Jennifer Taylor: Anally probed. Enough said.
Why does the wheel in the sky keep on turning?
Jennifer Taylor: 'Cause JC keeps on pedaling.
You've just won a contest in which the prize is your "dream car". What make and model of car do you choose? (And no, you can't just take the money.)
Jennifer Taylor: 1971 Dodge Van with split windshield and camper top.
You can go back in time and kill one person without disrupting the space/time continuum, creating a paradox and causing the universe to collapse upon itself. Who would it be?
Jennifer Taylor: My parents.
As an experiment, you spend an entire day with a stick of butter duct-taped to your forehead. What do you learn?
Jennifer Taylor: Just because it's kinky doesn't mean it's fun.
What's the best way to spend a rainy day?
Jennifer Taylor: Naked.
What is the coolest animal to watch a nature show about?
Jennifer Taylor: Sharks.
What do you do now, as a result of widespread internet access, that you didn't do ten years ago?
Jennifer Taylor: Pay money for internet service.
Who did you last give flowers and why?
Jennifer Taylor: I picked one for myself a few days ago. Because I was trying to get in my
pants and I couldn't afford to take myself to dinner.
The thong: instrument of social change or harbinger of dark times?
Jennifer Taylor: A piece of fabric often used as underwear... nothing more, nothing less.
The police have just nailed you for some kind of minor infraction. What were you most likely to have been doing?
Jennifer Taylor: Hangin' with the Wizard.
Would you shop at a supermarket run by ninjas? Why or why not?
Jennifer Taylor: Yes, because I'd never even know they were there.
Tell us about your weirdest experience with a fan.
Jennifer Taylor: A typed love letter where the person quoted large portions of Catcher in the
Rye like it was the Bible. "You know how I feel about you? CITR: Chapter 5,
Verse 3". That's just creepy.
When was the last time you had an entire day to yourself, and what did you do with it?
Jennifer Taylor: Today. Answered fan mail.
Ever written a letter to the editor? What publication, and on what subject?
Jennifer Taylor: Jim Goad of Answer Me fame -- to see if I could get an autographed copy of
Issue # 2.
What's the stupidest thing you've ever done while drunk? If you're a non-drinker, please limit your self-righteous response to 25 words.
Jennifer Taylor: I've never done anything stupid. Ever.
What's your favorite thing to do when you can't sleep?
Jennifer Taylor: Masturbate, or watch a movie, or both.
You're making a guest appearance as yourself in the TV show of your choice. What's the show, and how do you fit into the plot?
Jennifer Taylor: Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I'd be a blood-suckin' freak, just like my momma.
A national guardsman from Ohio recently changed his name to Optimus Prime, after the transformer. If you could change your name to anything, what would you change it to?
Jennifer Taylor: Nunya Beezwax.
We're considering lobbying the government to pass a law banning the use of certain overplayed words -- for example, "new", "flaming" and "electric" -- in band names. What other words should be banned?
Jennifer Taylor: E-zine. (Agreed. -- Ed.)
Would you rather tour the world for a year, living out of hotels and minibuses, playing to sellout crowds but estranged from all meaningful interpersonal contact, or be crowned the next indie god(s) but be damned to a lifetime of college radio airplay, widespread obscurity and eventual golden years filled with soundtrack work?
Jennifer Taylor: Yes please.
What's the most un-rock and roll hobby or interest you have?
Jennifer Taylor: I like to pet cats.
What's the stupidest thing a reviewer ever said about you or your band?
Jennifer Taylor: "Try as they might to throw a female-fronted monkey wrench into the standard
garage-rock formula, The Vexers still come across as pretenders to the
throne" - Jason Jackowiak, Splendid E-Zine.
Some of us have side gigs bartending. Help us out by making up a drink that we can name after you and sell to underaged girls in midriff tee-shirts.
Jennifer Taylor: The Female-fronted Monkey Wrench. Just add a girl to the standard drink
format and then let boneheads reach their own conclusions about what's in it
and why.
What's in your fridge right now?
Jennifer Taylor: Three beers and a tupperware container full of mashed potatoes.
What advice would you give to Michael Jackson?
Jennifer Taylor: I'd tell him to laugh it off with this wonderful joke: Q. How do you know
when it's bedtime at the Neverland Ranch? A. It's when the big hand is on
the little hand.
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The Vexers' self-titled debut hit the streets a few months ago. Our Jason Jackowiak gave it a middling response. The Vexers, it seems, are still a bit sore about that.
-- Questions assembled by the Splendid staff
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