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Right now, with no advance notice, and for reasons we're not going to bother explaining, you must get rid of one album from your record collection. Which title gets the chop?

Rachel Flotard: The Shaggs. How many times can "Where is Footfoot" possibly be played without growing your buck teeth back?

You wake up one morning and discover that you've grown two feet taller overnight. How does it affect your life?

Rachel Flotard: I start a band with Corey Parks.

What three things must a town or city have in order for you to be able to live happily there?

Rachel Flotard: Cool summers, the Space Needle, and Ben Hooker.

What's more important: good music or good food? And why?

Rachel Flotard: Good food. Worst case you can at least enjoy what you're tasting when trapped at the Joey Lawrence listening party.

Would you rather be anal probed by aliens or have a root canal without anaesthetics? Explain your choice.

Rachel Flotard: Definitely probed. If I can help alienkind get a better look at the world's biggest a-hole, they might elect me Empress and I could then, finally, blow up the moon.

Why does the wheel in the sky keep on turning?

Rachel Flotard: Because proud Mary was very badly burned in a river rolling accident.

You've just been elected to the US senate (if you're not a US citizen, please either pretend you are or move forward on the assumption that you've taken a similar government-type position in your own country). What's on your agenda legislation-wise?

Rachel Flotard: Free the West Memphis Three and hard candies for everyone.

If the moon were made of cheese, what kind of cheese would it be made of? Please explain your reasoning.

Rachel Flotard: First of all, it's pork chops. Man landed on pork, 1969.

You've just won a contest in which the prize is your "dream car". What make and model of car do you choose? (And no, you can't just take the money.)

Rachel Flotard: I wouldn't mind one of Freddie Mercury's old touring buses. Kim would agree, although she'd take a wheelbarrow at this point.

You can go back in time and kill one person without disrupting the space/time continuum, creating a paradox and causing the universe to collapse upon itself. Who would it be?

Rachel Flotard: The Scottish demonseed who went on to inspire Utili-kilts.

As an experiment, you spend an entire day with a stick of butter duct-taped to your forehead. What do you learn?

Rachel Flotard: That rubbing people's corncobs in person is a lot better than sending bad checks to Farm-Aid.

What's the best way to spend a rainy day?

Rachel Flotard: Inside laughing at suckers outside. And coloring.

What is the coolest animal to watch a nature show about?

Rachel Flotard: Amazon frogs who bubble baby frogs out of their backs. They pop right off and hop around.

Who did you last give flowers and why?

Rachel Flotard: To my ex-boyfriend for breaking his leg...while dismounting a prostitute.

The thong: instrument of social change or harbinger of dark times?

Rachel Flotard: I'm good with the thongs, although I've taken to the hip hugger boyish-lingerie panties. Ladies (and stupidly talented Sisqo) like thongs. Those who don't wear them also still use maxipads because they fear the tampon. But that's okay.

The police have just nailed you for some kind of minor infraction. What were you most likely to have been doing?

Rachel Flotard: Smuggling raisins.

Would you shop at a supermarket run by ninjas? Why or why not?

Rachel Flotard: I would. They are stealth masters of the night and would never let yogurts go bad.

What article (or articles) of clothing do you wish you never had to wear again? Why?

Rachel Flotard: Legwarmers. I wish I never had to wear them again but I'm forced to keep my gams toasted now that J.Lo made a Flashdance mockuvideo.

Taking into account all current political, social and economic situations, which country would you most like to be and why?

Rachel Flotard: Regrettably oui, I would like to be France purely to hear my countrymen pronounce Flotard with its native inflections (ie: "Fleaux-tar"). A little D goes a long way in the States.

Tell us about your weirdest experience with a fan.

Rachel Flotard: Well, if you put your mouth up to one set on HIGH and go: "Only when I say so....only when I say" you sound just like Tangina the wee-exorcist from Poltergeist (also the wedding chapel organist in Sixteen Candles).

When was the last time you had an entire day to yourself, and what did you do with it?

Rachel Flotard: 1988. Snow day. My mom was at work and I ate cake mix. Dry.

Ever written a letter to the editor? What publication, and on what subject?

Rachel Flotard: There are two kinds of people: those who have bumper-stickers and those who do not. Same theory applies to lonely-uppity editor letter writers.

What's the stupidest thing you've ever done while drunk? If you're a non-drinker, please limit your self-righteous response to 25 words.

Rachel Flotard: Participation in accidental Japanese Karaoke. "Still Ruving you" by the Scorpions. "Herro?" by Lionel Ritchie. (Note: One of my best friends is Japanese American and joins in with her rendition of "Cra-jee" by Patsy Cline as not to have me sashimi'd by the Japanese mafia.)

What's your favorite thing to do when you can't sleep?

Rachel Flotard: Dance in front of the mirror like a jackass or listen to Boston and ABBA on my roof.

What are your fellow band members' most irritating habits? If you have no fellow band members, what are your own most irritating habits?

Rachel Flotard: Kim's flamboyant/incessant scabbing over and re-opening of injuries. Ben's infuriating attempts to teach me "lessons in pain". Like buying a van with no air conditioning. It's more punk rock that way. I hate him.

You're making a guest appearance as yourself in the TV show of your choice. What's the show, and how do you fit into the plot?

Rachel Flotard: I'm on Facts Of Life. Jo and I get into a (plastic) knife fight over a bandana. Mrs. Garrett accidentally locks us in the walk-in and we work things out while eating fresh krullers. Scenario II: I'm on Small Wonder (show about that family who have a creepy robotic daughter with a bowl cut and pig tails.) It's the Season Finale episode. I throw her into the tub. America rallies to my side.

In three sentences or less, please give your opinion on the current state of the world.

Rachel Flotard: He was a Sk8-er boy. She said see you l8-er boy.

A national guardsman from Ohio recently changed his name to Optimus Prime, after the Transformer. If you could change your name to anything, what would you change it to?

Rachel Flotard: Stupefying Jones. My dad gave it to me after I walked into a hardware store to pick him up some 2X4s and distracted some employees. The manager told him I could never come back.

We're considering lobbying the government to pass a law banning the use of certain overplayed words -- for example, "new", "flaming" and "electric" --in band names. What other words should be banned?

Rachel Flotard: "Heeeezy", "Nizzle" and "Holla".

Would you rather tour the world for a year, living out of hotels and minibuses, playing to sellout crowds but estranged from all meaningful interpersonal contact, or be crowned the next indie god(s) but be damned to a lifetime of college radio airplay, widespread obscurity and eventual golden years filled with soundtrack work?

Rachel Flotard: Okay, so the sellout tour is only a year? I'll take it.

What's the most un-rock and roll hobby or interest you have?

Rachel Flotard: Shaving my cat and taking pictures of him wearing a mini sombrero. True!

What's the stupidest thing a reviewer ever said about you or your band?

Rachel Flotard: That we like big butts and then lied about it.

Some of us have side gigs bartending. Help us out by making up a drink that we can name after you and sell to underaged girls in midriff tee-shirts.

Rachel Flotard: Okay, but it's already called the Blackie Lawless. Pint of Guinness with a shot of Jaeger and a cocaine rim.

Which is a better reason for an R rating -- pointless, arbitrary violence or over-the-top kinky sex that has nothing to do with the story?

Rachel Flotard: The sex. I take my dad to the movies all the time. Nothing worse than sitting next to your maker during the making. Gross and utterly unbearable.

Which would be worse -- going three rounds with Mike Tyson, or having sex with Anna Nicole Smith?

Rachel Flotard: Couldn't that be considered the same thing? I'd probably like to lose an ear with Tyson before I went over to Anna Nicole's house.

What's in your fridge right now?

Rachel Flotard: Stubb's BBQ sauce, baby Sapporos (you have to drink a million), salami, cheese, grey poupon, soy sauce, old potatoes, eggs and tangerine/orange combo Tropicana.

What advice would you give to Michael Jackson?

Rachel Flotard: Tell no one.

Visqueen are Rachel Flotard on vocals and guitar, Ben Hooker on drums and Kim Warnick on bass and vocals. Rachel’s ready-for-radio songs and her golden voice has been called "A Secret Weapon". Rolling Stone’s David Fricke hails it the real deal. Visqueen has attended SXSW 2003, CMJ 2002 and shared billing with some of their heroes, including Local H, The Donnas, Guided By Voices, The New Pornographers, Imperial Teen, Greg Dulli and The Twilight Singers, Cheap Trick, Pretty Girls Make Graves and The Minus 5.