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Right now, with no advance notice, and for reasons we're not going to bother explaining, you must get rid of one album from your record collection. Which title gets the chop?
Catherine Davis: The Transformers Soundtrack, although I would first burn a copy of "The Touch" based solely
on its brief inclusion in Boogie Nights.
You wake up one morning and discover that you've grown two feet taller overnight. How does it affect your life?
Catherine Davis: Well, I think it would be pretty good considering all my pants would now look like
capris, which seem to be in fashion. Of course, when I notice something is in style, it
means it's usually well on its way out.
What three things must a town or city have in order for you to be able to live happily there?
Catherine Davis: 1. A walled perimeter with guard towers every 200 feet. 2. A law that allows homeowners to trap and enslave homeless people as long as the trap is up to code and its registration current. 3. An elaborate system of pulleys that allows citizens to move throughout the city without ever touching the ground.
What's more important: good music or good food? And why?
Catherine Davis: Good food. If the food is good enough you'll be content to just savor it and
remain oblivious to Sammy Hagar and his Cabo Wabo "Wabaritas" blasting in
your ear from some crappy speakers.
Would you rather be anal probed by aliens or have a root canal without anaesthetics? Explain your choice.
Catherine Davis: Anal probe. I imagine the aliens have very clean probes and throw out the probe sheath
after each use and replace it for each new abductee. I think would be easier if
the aliens were probing several people at the same time, allowing us to feel less ashamed and
have a "we're all in this together" mentality.
Why does the wheel in the sky keep on turning?
Catherine Davis: It likes to thumb its nose at popular physics, which denies
the possibility of a perpetual motion machine.
You've just been elected to the US senate (if you're not a US citizen, please either pretend you are or move forward on the assumption that you've taken a similar government-type position in your own country). What's on your agenda legislation-wise?
Catherine Davis: The creation of a 24-hour Simpsons channel, and a spin-off featuring Ralph Wiggum and
Mr. Burns who, through hilarious circumstances, live together and are forced to
accept each other's foibles. Also, I'd like to make the wishes of that little girl from the old Kraft ads come true
by passing a law to legally change Kraft Macaroni and Cheese to Kraft Cheese and Macaroni. I'd then expand the scope of California's three-strike policy to include those who violate the aforementioned new law and continue to say it the old way. Idiots.
If the moon were made of cheese, what kind of cheese would it be made of? Please explain your reasoning.
Catherine Davis: Camembert -- it just seems so obvious.
You've just won a contest in which the prize is your "dream car".What make and model of car do you choose?(And no, you can't just take the money.)
Catherine Davis: A 92 Vespa Moped. The kind the bears ride at the circus.
You can go back in time and kill one person without disrupting the space/time continuum, creating a paradox and causing the universe to collapse upon itself. Who would it be?
Catherine Davis: Yoda.
As an experiment, you spend an entire day with a stick of butter duct-taped to your forehead. What do you learn?
Catherine Davis: I finally learn how to read.
What's the best way to spend a rainy day?
Catherine Davis: Blossoming as a person. Or watching Blossom re-runs.
What is the coolest animal to watch a nature show about?
Catherine Davis: That one animal, man, I can't remember the name of it -- it's the one where whenever the Crocodile Hunter's wife says its name a large
wet spot appears in the front of his shorts and he orders the camera turned off.
What do you do now, as a result of widespread internet access, that you didn't do ten years ago?
Catherine Davis: Care.
Who did you last give flowers and why?
Catherine Davis: My neighbors. Because Judge Jerkface said it was part of my plea bargain agreement and
it's the only way they'll take the ankle bracelet off.
The thong: instrument of social change or harbinger of dark times?
Catherine Davis: Harbinger of dark times. Wait, thong? I thought that said 'Tron'.
The police have just nailed you for some kind of minor infraction. What were you most likely to have been doing?
Catherine Davis: Violently protesting the use of the superfluous "e" in store names -- "shoppe",
"olde", and "Ye Olde Shoppe".
Would you shop at a supermarket run by ninjas? Why or why not?
Catherine Davis: Yes, because I can go to the butcher and know that all the meat has been cut quickly,
precisely, and in complete silence without the animal knowing about its demise.
What article (or articles) of clothing do you wish you never had to wear again? Why?
Catherine Davis: A wooden barrel held up by suspenders -- nobody likes suspenders.
Taking into account all current political, social and economic situations, which country would you most like to be and why?
Catherine Davis: Turkey, just based on the potential for meat-related jokes.
Tell us about your weirdest experience with a fan.
Catherine Davis: There was a very nice girl who informed us that she, along with her fiance,
listened to the Zykos CD on their way to get a marriage license. I find it a little strange
that the CD may have some permanent association with that day, although I hope they'll name
their kids after every member of the band.
When was the last time you had an entire day to yourself, and what did you do with it?
Catherine Davis: Probably about a month ago -- I spent a good portion of the day arguing in the mirror
that Ranch dressing was more dipping sauce than salad dressing. Then I would part my
hair the other way and flip my collar up and become the person arguing it was in fact a
salad dressing and the notion of it being considered a dipping sauce was ludicrous.
Ever written a letter to the editor? What publication, and on what subject?
Catherine Davis: Yes, to Cat Fancy. Why they hell have they put that boring Calico "Tipsy" on the cover three
times already and continued to overlook the traffic-stopping beauty of my sassy,
orange haired love, "Mayor Mittens"?
What's the stupidest thing you've ever done while drunk? If you're a non-drinker, please limit your self-righteous response to 25 words.
Catherine Davis: Killed a one-armed hobo over the last tuck of chaw. Silly hobo, I've got two arms!
What's your favorite thing to do when you can't sleep?
Catherine Davis: Take a swim in my money vault and consider purchasing a tiara encrusted in
something more precious than diamonds.
What are your fellow band members' most irritating habits? If you have no fellow band members, what are your own most irritating habits?
Catherine Davis: Breathing.
You're making a guest appearance as yourself in the TV show of your choice. What's the show, and how do you fit into the plot?
Catherine Davis: Empty Nest -- I play the weather-beaten, alcohol-ravaged sea captain who teaches
someone to love again.
In three sentences or less, please give your opinion on the current state of the world.
Catherine Davis: Given the horrifying popularity of Keanu Reeves, the dissolution of Pavement,
and the stupefying drop in use of the word "Bitchin'",
I'd say pretty loathsome.
A national guardsman from Ohio recently changed his name to Optimus Prime, after the Transformer. If you could change your name to anything, what would you change it to?
Catherine Davis: National Guardsman.
We're considering lobbying the government to pass a law banning the use of certain overplayed words -- for example, "new", "flaming" and "electric" --in band names.What other words should be banned?
Catherine Davis: Anything purposely misspelled ("Staind"), any reference to mythology ("Incubus"),
and lastly, "evanescence".
Would you rather tour the world for a year, living out of hotels and minibuses, playing to sellout crowds but estranged from all meaningful interpersonal contact, or be crowned the next indie god(s) but be damned to a lifetime of college radio airplay, widespread obscurity and eventual golden years filled with soundtrack work?
Catherine Davis: Option two, minus the crowns -- seems like a lot of maintenance. Crowns don't polish themselves,
ya know.
What's the most un-rock and roll hobby or interest you have?
Catherine Davis: Watching while people suffer in my life-sized, mechanized "Hungry, Hungry, Hippo" compound,
high above the action in my helium balloon. I also enjoy traveling back in time.
What's the stupidest thing a reviewer ever said about you or your band?
Catherine Davis: I think it was once remarked that all of our songs sounded like Travis. I'm assuming that
person meant the band Travis, and not just some guy, although I would prefer the latter.
Some of us have side gigs bartending. Help us out by making up a drink that we can name after you and sell to underaged girls in midriff tee-shirts.
Catherine Davis: This drink is called "Daddy has to go away for awhile" -- take all the booze in the liquor cabinet and consume it as you attempt to get all the local news stations to cover your six-hour stand-off with cops.
Which is a better reason for an R rating -- pointless, arbitrary violence or over-the-top kinky sex that has nothing to do with the story?
Catherine Davis: Sex, I suppose.
Which would be worse -- going three rounds with Mike Tyson, or having sex with Anna Nicole Smith?
Catherine Davis: Three rounds with Tyson - the guy's face is tattooed, for pete's sake.
What's in your fridge right now?
Catherine Davis: Significantly colder air than what's outside the fridge.
What advice would you give to Michael Jackson?
Catherine Davis: Keep on keepin' on. You're not crazy, the world is.
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From the band's Post-Parlo Records bio: "These five native Texans make a mix of rock and pop that's totally addictive and entirely danceable. If you're a fellow Texan, you might've seen them open for Interpol, Spoon, Cursive, Crooked Fingers or The Gloria Record, with a live show that has amazed us and everyone else in the state. The band came out of a host of Austin-area studios this spring, where they recorded their debut full length, Comedy Horn, out worldwide on Post-Parlo."
-- George Zahora
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