1. CDs come in the newspaper:
I was in London and wanted to read the news with my coffee, so I picked up a
paper. Lo and behold, it came with a Nick Cave sampler disc! Newspapers
never come with CDs in the US, and if they did, they would probably be
N'Sync or some other claptrap.
2. Street Musicians:
True, we have street musicians in the States, but not of the same quality or
variety you find here. Dublin had an accordionist singing opera, Copenhagen
has entire string sections on the corners, and London had a great
percussionist playing found objects in a Tube station. I adore being able to
walk down the street and hear a variety of music. Unfortunately, if I hear
anything back home, it's some sensitive college loser playing an acoustic
guitar and singing off-key.
3. Better Muzak:
Muzak is musical torture no matter where you go, but the choice of songs they
butcher here is superior. Over breakfast the other day I heard both Prince's
"Gold" and Coolio's "Gangsta's Paradise". No kidding, this really was clearly
Coolio's song and not Stevie Wonder. Strange, but it beats the hell out of
having to sit through yet another version of "The Wind Beneath My Wings".
4. MTV Europe:
As hard as it is to believe, European MTV actually plays videos - honest to
God, full length videos without morons breaking in screeching about how much
they love the band. Furthermore, the selection of videos is vastly superior
to what we get in the US. I mean, when was the last time you saw The Orb on
American television?
5. Bootlegs:
It used to be the case that you could go into any decent record store in
America and find at least a few interesting bootlegs. Unfortunately, the
major labels have set their sights on the trading of live music with several
raids on both stores and private individuals. Hence, no more bootlegs for the
Yanks. But in Europe, you can buy bootlegs to your heart's desire. Not that
I would buy any and bring them home mind you. So if you're a Customs officer
don't bother searching my bags because I would never do such a dastardly
thing.
6. Radio:
Much like MTV, the radio in Europe offers a much more pleasing variety of
music. The latest New Order single is everywhere and I haven't heard Limp
Bizkit once. In addition, you can actually swear on the radio. This is a
particular innovation when listening to hip-hop, which no longer sounds like
bass-heavy Swiss cheese.
7. Stereo equipment:
I've driven rental cars across Ireland and Britain so far, and both cars came
with a Blaupunkt stereo system. Compare this to the US, where rentals come
with stereos dating from around 1792.
8. Musical Theater:
Outside of Andrew Lloyd Webber and a few Disney rip-offs, musical theater is
dead in the US. Not so in Europe! I managed to catch two productions while
in London. The first, Notre Dame de Paris is a horrid affair that should be
avoided at all costs. The other, Closer to Heaven, was scored by the Pet
Shop Boys and is entertaining, if not a classic. But either way, it's nice to
at least have options that extend beyond singing felines.
9. Pub Music:
I have to admit, I've stopped at a few pubs along my journey and for the most
part both the beer and the bands dominate anything I can find at home.
Granted, I'm a sucker for an Irish reel, but the combination of fine music and
an excellent pint has no equal. If you're ever in Blarney, County Cork,
Ireland, by all means track down The Laughing Shamrocks.
10. Music Critics:
Let's face facts: America's political correctness craze has neutered its
critics. Overseas critics, however, have retained their sharp tongues. For
example, I've heard one critic describe Mariah Carey as "a black Whitney
Houston". Yow! A critic in Copenhagen describes a local band as "sucking my
mother through its nose". Granted, I don't speak Danish and my dictionary
sucks, but this sure seems like a more lively description than you'd get from
the US (excepting Splendid, of course).
11. Imports at domestic prices:
Remember that British single you always wanted but couldn't justify paying an
extra $10 for just because it was imported? Guess what? If you go to
England, it isn't an import any more! Granted, it still costs about $5 more
than a US single because of the VAT and a crappy exchange rate, but you've
still managed to save some money. In addition, it's a lot easier to find
Swedish metal on vinyl if you just go to Sweden. Who would've known?
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