RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE: Swagger about with a self-righteous attitude spouting communist propaganda. Make sure the Calvin Klein label on your underwear is showing.

THE ELEPHANT 6 COLLECTIVE: Go to a party with a bunch of friends. Take three costumes. Anybody who doesn't get one of the initial three costumes should be described in terms of whichever costume they resemble, no matter how slight the similarity.

COLDCUT: Buy (or steal) 100 Halloween costumes. Cut them into shreds. Paste the pieces all over your body. You're done.

CREED: Go as whatever Pearl Jam is going as, but with less style.

RADIOHEAD: It doesn't matter what your costume actually is. Keep it top secret. Hold special pre-Halloween "viewing parties", or go to Italy and wander around wearing your costume for a week. Then, when Halloween comes, act really shocked when everyone not only knows what your costume is, but has had their own knock-off of it for weeks.

OF MONTREAL: Buy a child's off-the-rack Halloween costume. Put it on. When people ask you about it, act like you have no idea what they're talking about.

NAPSTER: Take a bunch of candy from home or borrow it from your friends. Let other trick-or-treaters taste it, in exchange for a taste of their own candy. Whenever anyone actually goes to a house and gets some candy, make certain that they immediately share it with all the other trick or treaters, until the people in the houses start to wonder if it's worth their time buying candy any more. Above all, make certain that the majority of the candy you trade is cheap and awful stuff.

LARS ULRICH: Follow guy in Napster costume. When opportunity arises, kick his ass.

ADEN: Dress in khakis and t-shirt. Cite a Steely Dan lyric instead of saying "Trick or Treat".

MOMUS: Ask for "costume" requests from each house you go to. If someone says, for example, be Richard Nixon, do a quick "I'm not a crook" imitation while at the same time dropping your pants. Always drop your pants. (If wearing a dress, lifting it up will suffice.)

SEAN NA NA: Dress as your brother; fool at least Theodore Defosse.

STEPHIN MERRITT: Go from house to house with a cup of hot tea in one hand, a glass of wine in another. Let a tea kettle rest near your feet. When saying "Trick to Treat", act as if a sharp candy was tearing your heart apart.

FUGAZI: Make a big deal about not trick-or-treating for a big corporation, but doing it the independent, "by-yourself" way. As for attire, don't let me or anyone else tell you what to wear.

ADAM ANT: Dress as a pirate, and act badly in the role. Keep asking for candy long after everyone feels they've given you more than enough.

BOB GELDOF: Disappear from planet. Leave treats behind.

BARCELONA: Dress as your robot, and carry robot in arms. Program robot to say Trick or Treat. Stare at shoes during entire exchange.

JOAN OF ARC: Say Happy Easter in Croat or wish people a good Hari Raya in Malay at every door you come to, because the important thing is to provoke questions. Dress as your favourite dead, obscure film director.

BJÖRK: Costume? What damn costume?

BALD RAPUNZEL: Carry large bag of books. Hand one out at every house you pass. People eat too much candy, anyway.

JEFF BUCKLEY: Have your mother trick or treat on your behalf. Have her tell everyone you're dead. Be prepared, though -- not only will she keep the treats for herself, but she's going to start going trick-or-treating in your name as often as possible.

THE DISMEMBERMENT PLAN: Come up with a clever, nicely designed, great-looking costume, albeit one that has its roots in an expensive store-bought outfit. Visit every house in the neighborhood over and over until people are sick of the sight of you.

HEY MERCEDES: Wear your Braid costume from last year, but with different pants.

PRIMAL SCREAM: Only trick-or-treat every three or four years. Before going out, stay up for three days straight, then drink six liters of a heavily caffeinated soft drink. Concentrate on acquiring granule-based candies like Lik-M-Aid and Pop Rocks. Stop regularly to consume these items in the bushes with a sullen, long-haired kid dressed as a rhythm guitarist.

GENERIC EMO KID: Please don't. The world has enough of them already.