Elvis Costello's "My Science Fiction Twin":
From the underrated Brutal Youth, some reassurance that at least Mr. Costello's double "is doing better than expected." Hear that, kitty? It won't hurt at all.

Clem Snide's "Evil vs. Good":
Okay, there are a few moral issues involved here, and this song gives you exactly three minutes and 47 seconds to think about them. It's mostly instrumental, too, so you don't have to worry about someone else's preconceived ideas about good and evil. Just skip the last 15 seconds where he sings "You're so evil and I'm so good. I'll make it up to you some day." That way you can ignore the rheumy look in your aged pussycat's eyes and be objective.

Guided by Voices' "I Am a Scientist":
After all, being objective is the whole idea, isn't it? You agree with Pollard. "I am a scientist. I seek to understand things." Like Gallileo, Copernicus and Marie Curie, you're just after abstract knowledge. It has nothing to do with the way Mr. Boots looks when he's curled up on your stomach.

John Fahey's "On Doing An Evil Deed Blues":
The moral struggle's over. You're going for it. The guy in the white coat has extracted DNA. It's just a matter of waiting now. You know, Fahey just invented a fictional blues guitarist. You're creating life itself.

The Clone Defects' "Not as Good as Gold":
Of course, no one's guaranteeing that it will be viable life. Your new kitty might be a little unconventional. So are the Clone Defects, though, and they rock like bulldozers.

The Buzzcocks' "Oh Shit!":
Yep, it is definitely too late for second thoughts, and CopyCat's sales person isn't returning your calls these days. That's too bad because your new feline friend has some serious problems, like, for instance...

The Bell-Rays "They Glued Your Head On Upside Down":
Shout along with Lisa Kekaula, the queen of punk soul, because little cream sipper, "They put your whole damn head on wrong." And there are other issues, too.

Gorky's Zygotic Mynci's "Hair Like Monkey, Teeth Like Dog":
It's a genetically engineered bad hair day for your new cat, and if its teeth are anything like my dog's, an extremely bad breath day, too. It makes it worse when the damn thing starts caterwauling in Welsh.

Bevis Frond's "Almost Like Being Alive":
So, kitty, how do you like it the second time around, you ask, and here is the reply, courtesy of Britain's best electrified folk artist -- and yes, I am counting Richard Thompson. He's second.

Beck's "Nobody's Fault But My Own":
There was no way I was going to do this list without at least one song from Mutations. In addition to the title's appropriateness, this track gets us to the terrible guilt you're feeling about every creating this grotesque mutant pet. My guess is that just about this point, you feel bad enough to do something about it.

Third Eye Foundation's "I've Lost that Loving Feline":
Life is tragic, isn't it? All that money and effort to replicate a perfectly ordinary cat. All that angst and struggle before you finally slipped the five-legged little mugger some antifreeze in its water dish. So sad. So inevitable.

Bill Bragg's "Waiting for the Great Leap Forward":
Fortunately genetic science is advancing by the day. In ten to fifteen years, when that cute little calico you found out by the garbage dump gets elderly, CopyCat will have the tools to really successfully clone her. Let Billy Bragg trust to social progress. I'm betting on science myself.