Splendid: But none of your standard Room-Mates?

Carolyn Mark: No, 'cause this is a different tour. I'm going with Neko (Case) and Kelly (Hogan), so I'm just here.

Splendid: I wasn't sure who was touring for what.

Carolyn Mark: Neko, Kelly, me and Jon, we're doing a tour. It's our new act -- the three-part harmony show. It's awesome.

Splendid: Are you singing on a lot of Jon's stuff?

Carolyn Mark: Just one.

Splendid: Are you gonna do it for the album, too?

Carolyn Mark: We recorded it yesterday.

Splendid: He whips through stuff really fast, doesn't he? He can crank out eight songs in a couple of days.

Carolyn Mark: Yeah, he's smart. Yesterday was Kelly, me, Sally (Timms) and a couple of other people. We did five songs yesterday. It was great.

Splendid: If you got a dollar every time you were on somebody else's record, would you be close to being a millionaire by now?

Carolyn Mark: No, I'd have twenty dollars.

Splendid: It seems like every time I turn around, you're on another one -- maybe not for the last few months...

Carolyn Mark: Well, there's a new batch coming out. Just wait. Buttless Chaps...

Splendid: I loved that last Buttless Chaps record.

Carolyn Mark: Yeah, they've got a new one that they've been working on for three and a half months. You're gonna love it -- it's this Flaming Lips epic. It's gonna be great. So I sang on that recently, and my friend Aaron Chapman... you'll never hear it, but it's great.

Splendid: (Scrabbing desperately for a question) The scene you're a part of seems almost like a small-scale version of what goes on in Chicago...

Carolyn Mark: Yeah, exactly.

Splendid: Kind of incestuous...

Carolyn Mark: Yeah.

Splendid: (Still scrabbling, just as desperately, to turn this vague statement into a question) So does it make it easier, when you come here, to fall into that pattern of collaborating, doing a track here, a backing vocal there...

Carolyn Mark: (Clearly perplexed and perhaps slightly troubled by the question) Well, I love coming here. I love it.

Splendid: That question sucked. I'm sorry.

Carolyn Mark: No, no --

Splendid: Let's go somewhere much more concrete. Why the change from "Carolyn Mark and Her Room-Mates" to "Carolyn Mark and the Room-Mates"?

Carolyn Mark: "Her" was just a spelling mistake. And Garth (Johnson) moved away, to Toronto, so he's not a Room Mate anymore. (She suddenly brightens as she spots a way to steer the conversation toward something more interesting) But I have this new band with six people in it, and there's another set of roommates within the band, so it can still be the Room-Mates.

Splendid: Tell me more about your new band.

Carolyn Mark: Ford Pier played piano, and Diona Davies is playing violin -- she's just playing with Billy Bragg this weekend. Paul Rigby's playing bass, and Tolan (McNeil) is still in the band playing guitar. And we have a drummer, Greg -- he's Paul's roommate, he turned out to be great. And we just did a tour where we had eight drummers -- we had a different drummer in every town. And it mostly worked out, except for one that was disastrous.

Splendid: So what happened?

Carolyn Mark: He was awful. He was a hippie, he never played on the one the whole night.

Splendid: So was it like a Dead show all of a sudden?

Carolyn Mark: No, he was just really loud and terrible. It was depressing.

Splendid: He broke your streak.

Carolyn Mark: Winning streak? Oh, I know.

Splendid: That's awful when that happens. So after this tour, what's next?

Carolyn Mark: I'm going to go back to Calgary and we get to open for Emmylou Harris. Those guys saw our new six-person gig in Calgary and asked us at the last minute to do this.

Splendid: Are you going to do anything different, or...

Carolyn Mark: (Noticing that the piano is being moved away from the performance area) Oh, they're taking the piano away.

Splendid: Were you playing it tonight?

Carolyn Mark: I was going to. It's okay.

Splendid: Are they moving it to the stage for you?

Carolyn Mark: No, we're playing in the bar.

Splendid: I didn't know.

Carolyn Mark: Me neither. Oh well. I'll just play the guitar.

Splendid: So... (Note: we're headed into more awkward territory here. Those of you who don't like squirm-inducing moments should skip ahead a few lines.) Getting back to music that's funny... and maybe this is an American thing, but it seems like people don't know what to do with music that's funny. If you cross a certain invisible line, they can't process it. You can be kind of funny -- ironic-funny, perhaps -- or you can be laugh-out-loud funny, at which point you're basically an accordion and a bad perm away from being Weird Al Yankovic.

Carolyn Mark: Well, I think somewhere between Weird Al, kooky country and The Muppets, there lies a vast area to be touched upon.

Splendid: Overtly humorous music just doesn't seem to get respect.

Carolyn Mark: Are you asking me if my music is funny? I'm funny to you? Do I amuse you?

Splendid: Yes, you make me laugh. It's the way you tell a story.

Carolyn Mark: That's good. It's hard to get paid if you're funny, that's all.

Splendid: Really?

Carolyn Mark: Yeah.

Splendid: Why, because people think you must be doing it --

Carolyn Mark: -- because you love it, yeah!

Splendid: -- for a "hoot".

Carolyn Mark: And they think you'll do it anyway. And they're right.

Splendid: So basically, if there was a crowd of fifty people anywhere and someone handed you a guitar or a keyboard or...(thinks for a minute) a kazoo, you'd be good to go.

Carolyn Mark: Yeah.

Splendid: So would you say you get "taken advantage of" a lot that way, or is it more that the audience gets taken advantage of?

Carolyn Mark: What do you mean?

Splendid: Boy, that sounded bad. I mean, do people take advantage of your inclination to entertain, or will you act upon any captive audience?

Carolyn Mark: Both. And it's related. Like, people who act like it's hard to get up and play, like it's a really big thing, they always get paid. (Laughs) People always ask me to MC things, and I'm okay at it but it's not my favorite thing to do. So because it's not my favorite, I've started asking for money for it. There was one woman who came to me and said "I want you to MC a festival. I heard you're funny." And I said, "It'll cost you. How funny's that?" And she paid me.

Splendid: Why don't you like MCing?

Carolyn Mark: Well, I like it, but I always think that maybe they don't want to hear my songs. You know, like "Other people get to play their songs. Why do I have to MC?"

Splendid: So you're, like, two thirds of the way through the night and you're about ready to cry because you think they don't want to hear you.

Carolyn Mark: No, it's fine. You still get to be at the party, right? As my friend Jay says, I don't care whose limo it is as long as I get to ride in it. It doesn't matter how you get there, right?

Splendid: But I know exactly what you mean, how that sucks to watch other people doing stuff you know you can kick ass at. Like one of the things that got Kelly Hogan back into making records was all the singing she did on other people's songs.

Carolyn Mark: She's so good.

Splendid: In general, you seem to work with extremely talented people.

Carolyn Mark: Yeah, that's true. It's great. Hogan walked into the studio yesterday and just sang the whole song. It was perfect.

Splendid: I heard she had to do a bunch of "puffs".

Carolyn Mark: "Puff!" How'd you hear that?

Splendid: I was talking to Jennifer Rauhouse before I talked to you. She's a fount of info.

Carolyn Mark: Oh. Yeah, we were doing Les Paul and Mary Ford's "Smoke Rings". You know that song?

Splendid: Yeah, that's a great song.

Carolyn Mark: I like that song.

Splendid: Another Rauhouse album crossing the generational divide...

Carolyn Mark: Yeah, you can get it for your parents, too.

Splendid: I wish I could, actually. When I listened to Jon's first record, I was like "I wish my dad was still around so we could finally both like a record."

Carolyn Mark: Totally.

Splendid: Let's go back further in your history... pre-Vinaigrettes, even. When did you get started in the whole singing/performing thing?

Carolyn Mark: 1990.

Splendid: What got you into it?

Carolyn Mark: Going to see all these bands in Victoria, and at this one bar, especially, called Harper's. The group The Sirens came to town from LA, and they wore square-dancing dresses and drank shots of bourbon and rolled around on the stage, and I was like, "That looks like a great way to spend the rest of your life!"

Splendid: And that was it from then on?

Carolyn Mark: Yeah.

Splendid: How many bands have you actually been a part of? I know you have a long history with the Vinaigrettes...

Carolyn Mark: Mostly the Vinaigrettes, for seven years, and then Metronome Cowboys, Fixins who were a country band, the Corn Sisters... Monster, Tweety, Klugman and this band. Eight!

Splendid: That's pretty impressive. And you're still so young!

Carolyn Mark: Awww. Pshaw!

Splendid: You could squeeze in another 40 bands before you're too old to play.

Carolyn Mark: Well, now I've started using my name, I can cut down on the band names. The important thing is the idea and the people. So if we come up with the idea of doing some kind of swingy soul songs, I play with people who are able to do that. They're talented enough to play hot country licks and switch over and play something else. I like that.

Splendid: That's just so cool, though -- the whole idea what you can wake up in the morning, decide that you want to make an album that day, pick up the phone, make a couple of calls...

Carolyn Mark: Yeah, it is great. But our house is gonna be for sale, so the whole thing might come to a crashing halt.

Splendid: So you rent that place?

Carolyn Mark: Yeah, we rent it, and someone's gonna buy it.

Lawrence Peters of the Witchita Shut-Ins stops at the table to pay his respects to Carolyn. They chat for a minute or two.

Carolyn Mark: I think I drank all the wine in Chicago last night.

Splendid: You have a hell of a constitution, then.

Carolyn Mark: Now I'm nervous -- I just hope there's more.

Splendid: I think there always is.

Carolyn Mark: Some people say that people choose music to master alcoholism. (Pause) I don't like those people. It's usually from those pot smokers who are so smug with it.

Splendid: So is that a fairly typical lifestyle for you -- drink all the wine in whatever town you happen to be in at the time?

Carolyn Mark: Yes.

Splendid: Does that mean you don't have to worry about dealing with a day job?

Carolyn Mark: I don't have a job right now.

Splendid: I envy you. Is that of your own volition? Can you support yourself pretty well from your music?

Carolyn Mark: I'm unemployable. I've been fired from every job I've ever had other than music. And sometimes from music.

Splendid: What's the worst job you've had?

Carolyn Mark: I've bartended in a karaoke bar. I was a mime in a shopping mall...

Splendid: So you really know what it's like to be hated.

Carolyn Mark: Yeah.

Splendid: And I thought temping was bad.

Carolyn Mark: Temping's exciting! A new job every day...

Splendid: It's not exciting. New job every day, you've gotta learn six or seven new names every morning and a whole new batch of clandestine rules about the fridge...

Carolyn Mark: I've seen Office Space. It's a million laughs. Have you seen The Office? That English show?

Splendid: I've been waiting for it. I gather it's out on DVD soon.

Carolyn Mark: Yvette at Mint is really into it. I don't think any Mint records have been sent out in, like, two months because she started watching that show.

Splendid: Ever had a crappy office job?

Carolyn Mark: No.

A young woman approaches the table, "interjects" and proceeds to engage Carolyn in a lengthy conversation while the tape rolls, completely oblivious to the fact that an interview is going on. Finally she leaves, and there's an awkward pause.

Splendid: Who's your favorite band to share a bill with? Let's say you're playing on any bill you want.

Carolyn Mark: Aww... the Sadies. They're great. Silver Hearts -- they're from Peterborough, they're a twelve-piece band and they made me cry. I saw them in a barn during a lightning storm and I was like "Twelve people?" I was having a hard time driving around with three people and I was like "I'm such a baby! They're twelve people! It would cost them, like, eighty dollars to have lunch!" Silver Hearts, Sadies, Kelly (Hogan) -- I did that tour with Kelly. Getting to hear her every night was incredible.

Splendid: So is it hard to drive around with three people?

Carolyn Mark: Some days, yeah. If you're getting along it's much better.

Splendid: I would've guessed from watching you on stage that you all get along really well.

Carolyn Mark: I strangled Garth on the way to a Valley Village once. That sort of put a chill in the air. I get really paranoid if I'm tired, so I probably shouldn't get on stage.

Splendid: And yet you seem so harmonious.

Carolyn Mark: Well, we mostly are. But we lived together and drove (she says something unintelligible). It was extreme personality closeness. (Pause) I don't want to ruin the illusion that we get along all the time.

Splendid: That's okay. I'll just edit this out of my head later on and assume that you all hug and do puppet shows when you're not on the road.

Carolyn Mark: We do puppet shows!

Splendid: You do? You have puppets and everything?

Carolyn Mark: Yeah. Our friends made us puppets of ourselves. We did a video and we didn't want to be in it so we used puppets. One's me, one's Garth and one's Tolan, and we used them to communicate -- like "Garth, why don't you fuck off?"

Splendid: Swearing puppets are probably your best entertainment value, period.

Carolyn Mark: They sit on the mantelpiece at our house.

Splendid: There should be a lot more puppetry in music. It aligns really well. And I have nothing to follow that up with, so if you want to extemporize about puppets for a few seconds while I think, that's cool.

As I'm without additional questions, Mark suggests we reconvene after her performance, "When we're drunk." This never happens. Interestingly, I don't see her drink anything but water for the rest of the evening.