Splendid: In the five years that you've been gone, the popularity of the band has soared. Why do you think people now relate to what you do?

Happy Tom: I don't know, really. I think basically because we're a good band, and also because in the old days nobody saw any ads for our records, or any videos, or anything. There's been a lot of word of mouth -- somebody playing a record for their friend, and they're totally impressed, saying "why haven't I heard of this before"? There's always been this shroud of mystery around the band, and that wasn't really intended, but we don't mind, really.

Splendid: Do you think it has anything to do with the general aesthetic swinging back to the side of rock 'n' roll? It would seem you were simply ahead of the curve.

Happy Tom: I think so. But a lot of these "new rock revolution" bands aren't really that rock 'n' roll. I don't think so, anyway. Everyone was promised that rock 'n' roll was coming back, and in my opinion, the bands that were supposedly spearheading the movement really didn't deliver, so they had to call in the task force (laughs).

Splendid: It's been said, many times, many ways, that Turbonegro revel in the maleness of rock 'n' roll. Do you think such a statement holds water?

Happy Tom: We love women... k.d. lang, Melissa Etheridge...

Hank Von Helvete: (laughing) I would love to make love to a woman in a burning bed!

Happy Tom: People call us a lot of things that I don't necessarily agree with. I think we're just the first hard rock band to take it that one step further. Women like the maleness of rock as well. How else do you explain groupies?

Hank Von Helvete: It's typical; you say that you like one thing and people automatically accuse you of hating another. We like maleness in rock, but that doesn't necessarily mean we hate women. I like girls. That doesn't mean I hate men...I like it all. We're omnipotent, we've got hard-ons all over.

Happy Tom: There's erections everywhere.

Splendid: Scandinavian Leather has a massive arena rock sound, much bigger and bolder than anything you've done in the past. Was that the original intention for the album, or was it a by-product of the recording process?

Happy Tom: Yeah, we wanted to do something bigger. We really found our feet with Apocalypse Dudes, because we could easily have made another Ass Cobra -- another angry punk rock record -- but it's hard to make this beautiful cascade of negativity that Apocalypse... and Scandinavian... turned out to be. So I guess the new record is really a continuation of the track that we found when we recorded Apocalypse Dudes.

Splendid: The continuation of the story, so to speak?

Happy Tom: (laughs) Yes, we were thinking about possibly making a trilogy out of it. We'll have to wait and see what the next record brings.

Splendid: Lyrically, Scandinavian Leather has more of an outsider feel. What prompted the change in your writing style?

Hank Von Helvete: Now it's the gang versus the world as opposed to the world versus the gang.

Happy Tom: After we broke up the band it got pretty lonely, so I guess Scandinavian... is more of a bitter record from that standpoint, but in a cool way, I think. After the band broke up, we saw who our friends really were -- a withdrawal of sorts. So in that respect, it's kind of a final "fuck you" to all those people. Well, there will be more "fuck yous" later, but this is the latest installment in the "fuckyou-ology".

Splendid: Was there ever any thought given to making a movie based on the story?

Happy Tom: We should. I mean, there was a documentary about us that a friend of ours made, our t-shirt guy, and it was recently shown on Norwegian television. We're also going to make a video for "Drenched in Blood" with Dave Sheridan (of Ghost World fame). He was in all the Red Hot Chili Peppers videos, and he's a huge Turbo fan and wants to make a video with us. We also made a video for "Sell Your Body (to the Night)" with (Jackass director) Jeff Tremaine and Spike Jonze in LA back in April, and we made a video for "Fuck the World" in Romania. We'll probably make one or two more videos, because there's so many "hits" off the record (laughs).

Splendid: Speaking of the "Fuck the World" video, was its Kubrickness intentional?

Happy Tom: Yes! That's actually one of the first things that came up when we had the meeting with the guy who made it, with all the guests and the crazy Eyes Wide Shut masks. You know, I think you're the first person to actually mention it.

Splendid: Well, there's always been a Kubrickian undercurrent to your music, so it only makes sense.

Hank Von Helvete: Well, I get lots of Clockwork Orange comments, because of the hat and the cane and the eye makeup.

Happy Tom: But the weird thing is that people call me Droogie. (laughs) I'm not a Droogie, I'm a druggie!

Hank Von Helvete: They don't get it, they're the Droogies. (points at Happy Tom) He's the Kubrick of Turbonegro.

Splendid: So how is America responding to the return of Turbonegro?

Happy Tom: Incredible! I think all the shows have been sold out, except the one in Philly, because it was such a big room. While we were there, we performed at Bam Margera's house for his new MTV show. We were actually asked to be on Lollapalooza by Perry Farrell himself, but we didn't have time because we had already been booked on all the big European festivals. While we were in the UK, we actually played a show on a barge on the river Thames, just like the Pistols did.

Splendid: If you had to pick one song that you've written that best encapsulates the band, what would it be?

Hank and Tom: (in unison) "Denim Demon"!

Hank Von Helvete: That's more or less our manifesto...the platform for it all. That was also the song that catapulted Turbonegro from a basic action-rock band to a huge, infernal, weird rock 'n' roll nightmare.

Splendid: So can we take that to mean that your reputation as rock 'n' roll renegades is based in truth?

Happy Tom: (hesitantly) Possibly. There seems to a myth machine that surrounds this band, but it's something that we haven't really instigated ourselves. For example, we played this really great festival in Sweden, and after the show, I hadn't even been drinking, and I feel sick so I have to go puke, and while I'm puking Paul's taking a piss, so then he starts puking, so now we're both standing there vomiting and all these people are peeking around the corner thinking we were all fucked up. Later on we heard people saying that after our show we were just backstage puking on each other, like in Monty Python's Meaning of Life (laughs). Later on we also heard that we'd thrown a bed out the window, which was funny.

Splendid: To a certain degree those myths have helped you sell records, right?

Happy Tom: (laughing) Yeah, that bed sold us some records!

Hank Von Helvete: The cool thing about it is that it's not us making the myths. We just kind of do what we do and other create the myths around us. We get to benefit from the legends that others put upon us. But because they're not even true, they can't work against us. We win any which way. But there have been some weird things that have happened to this band, some very clichéd rock 'n' roll things.

(Talk briefly turns to a Queen after-show party in 1976 where it was alleged that midgets walked around with mirrors stuck to their heads so party guests could snort cocaine off their wee noggins.)

Happy Tom: There's been plenty of crazy stuff that's happened to this band. The stuff that's true we can't even talk about. Some of the things that have actually happened are worse than the myths! If those myth-makers only knew...

Hank Von Helvete: Lots of things have been blown out of proportion, especially in Norway. Things about my former drug problem, they write about them in the papers, asking things like "Was the lead singer of Turbonegro really on heroin?". They ask because they think it's too good to be true or something. Like it's some marketing scheme because it's too rock 'n' roll.

Happy Tom: Plus I think there are some bands in Scandinavia who are jealous because we had a heroin addict in our band, because they look at it like "oh, that's so real and rock 'n' roll, man". If they like they can just go and start doing heroin themselves, then. They can see how rock 'n' roll it is for themselves.

Splendid: Are there currently any plans to release Never is Forever, Hot Cars and Spent Contraceptives and Darkness Forever here in the States? On Epitaph perhaps?

Happy Tom: They've been re-released by Bitzcore, which is based in Germany, but what I've heard now is that Bitzcore are opening a US office, so that means all of our records should be released here sooner than later. They also have all kinds of really good stuff on that label, like old Zero Boys stuff, and some of the better Oi! Stuff.

Splendid: Excellent. So...Turbonegro is something of a marketing juggernaut. Is that borne of a love for your fans, or purely capitalistic purposes?

Happy Tom: I don't think we really have too much more than your average band, really. Some shirts, hats, women's panties. Our fans make a lot of their own merchandise, all the different Turbojugend chapters, and that's really exploded without us having anything at all to do with it.

Splendid: I guess I was speaking more along the lines of the limited-edition records (leather-bound LP edition of Scandinavian Leather) and such (customized denim jackets) that you offer on your website.

Happy Tom: That stuff's not really a marketing ploy. Its just stuff for our die-hard fans, really.

Hank Von Helvete: It's cool to be able to give the die-hards that little something extra. Something for them to collect, to have to let them know that we appreciate them.

Splendid: I see. What band would Turbonegro most like to fight, and why?

Hank Von Helvete: The Who

Happy Tom: Yeah, The Who. Because Pete Townshend's in jail, Moon and Entwistle are dead, so there's only Roger Daltrey, who's this old guy and would be really easy to beat up. Plus in "Young Man Blues" he says that "old men have to step away and let the young men through" so we're taking him to task. If he's gonna talk the talk, he'd better walk the walk. (laughs) It's going to be Blur versus Oasis all over again!

Splendid: Do you think the world needs Turbonegro now more than ever?

Happy Tom: Yeah.

Splendid: Why?

Hank Von Helvete: Because we're their only chance!

Happy Tom: I think it was (Suicide's) Alan Vega who said, "The youth of America have only two options: suicide or total destruction." That's what we say -- "either Turbonegro or total destruction" -- or maybe a combination of both. But I think people want rock 'n' roll to come back, and we're still one of the best when it comes to bringing it back.