The enduring trait of children's television shows in the seventies -- whether we're talking about Magic Roundabout or H.R. Pufnstuf -- is the fact that they're inextricably (and given time's perspective, blatantly) linked to drug culture. I'm not suggesting that you can't have wildly creative, innovative ideas without the use of chemicals, but it takes a distinctly weed-addled thinker to unleash those semi-coherent ideas on an unsuspecting audience.
I Am Not A Freemdoom is sort of a rock-opera, and sort of a concept album. And it's very similar to the afore-cited programs.
I should establish right now that I like I Am Not A Freemdoom. I like it a lot. It's by no means a children's story, but it's an allegorical tale that's filled with a sense of childlike wonder. It's also a tale that seems to have been written by someone locked in a poorly ventilated chemical storeroom -- it's full of thinly-veiled drug use, evisceration and decapitation, not to mention questionable character development.
I'll have a quick whack at explaining the story, which plays out in the comic book that accompanies the disc.
The island of Krone Ishta is a happy place, dotted with reservoirs that house a wide variety of cheerful, friendly marine life. To this paradise comes the evil dog Freemdoom and his well-intentioned monster henchman Gorgar. Freemdoom pollutes Krone Ishta's reservoirs, forcing the marine people to purchase -- at a premium price -- Freemdoom's water-filled helmet-tanks and live on land. Ed, a chain-smoking creature with a single robotic arm, teams up with his fish friend Mal to end Freemdoom's cruel reign. Acting on intelligence
from the Frog King, they set a trap for Freemdoom, and appear to defeat him... but Gorgar's misplaced loyalty brings him back to life, more evil than ever. Ed and Mal return but Ed is captured by Freemdoom, who seems to defeat him... but Mal rallies an army of his people and plans an attack on Freemdoom's lair. In the end, however, it is only the power of teamwork -- and a timely visit from the Eyeball of Truth -- that defeats Freemdoom and frees Krone Ishta.
Mind you, I've left out the best bits, including a heaping helping of Grand Guignol-style humor.
In musical terms, this narrative translates to a series of thirteen jangly pop tunes in typical E6-ish, Kindercore style (the band's principals also play in Summer Hymns and Kincaid). There's a healthy dose of keyboard burble and a lot of earnest vocals. Less a narrative than a series of soliloquoys and conversations between the story's characters, I Am Not A Freemdoom probably won't make a damn bit of sense without a careful reading of the comic book, which in turn is hard to understand without a written explanation of the plot -- and even then, it's not the most coherent thing in the world. You immediately notice, however, that the word "Freemdoom" really sticks out when you hear it in a song, more so than Ed, Mal or even Gorgar. Only the Frog King -- who is basically the story's Huggy Bear -- appears with equally striking regularity. This makes sense, as he appears to be Krone Ishta's only source of information -- not much of a job for a King, is it?
What truly matters here, however, is the catchiness of the songs. In that respect, I Am Not A Freemdoom pays off nicely, yielding hummable gems like the organ-spiked "The Dog Who Controls People's Lungs", the Kincaid-esque "Gorgar's Room", the show-stopping "The New Freemdoom", the peppy-yet-emotional Beach Boys harmony of "Mal Needs to Talk About the Things He Wants to Say" and, of course, "The Fearsome Duo", which provides the story's final summation.
Yeah, it's goofy, but with a warmth and charm that you won't find in an album full of songs about boys and girls and love. And it's probably the only story you'll read this year that begins like a conservationist fable and ends with a scene straight out of Bride of Reanimator. By whatever means Bren, Sean and the rest of the Masters came up with this story, you'll thank them for telling it. You'll probably even join me in hoping for a sequel.
