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Slim Moon has a go at the POINTLESS QUESTIONS

Slim Moon

For the full lowdown on Slim, read our Label Conscious article on Kill Rock Stars, or visit the Kill Rock Stars and 5RC websites. You can also hunt for Slim Moon stuff at Insound.

What band did you listen to most during the eighties? Do you still like them?

Slim Moon: The Clash and the Gun Club, I think it's a tie. I love them both so much to this day.

What is your worst memory of elementary school? Of high school?

Slim Moon: In first grade there was this game called "war" where half the boys lined up on one end of the field and half of the boys lined up on the other side and then they ran into each other screaming at the top of their lungs and then had a big fight. I got punched in the stomach and cried. Then I saw that the kid who hit me was on my team. That was the end of team sports for me.

You're about to -- ahem -- get lucky. What album is playing in the background? Why'd you choose it?

Slim Moon: Sahara Hotnights' Jennie Bomb, cuz it rocks.

What was the first thing you ever shoplifted? Why did you take it?

Slim Moon: I have never shoplifted ever.

If you could beat up anyone in the world and get away without the usual annoying real-world consequences -- jail time, lawsuits, bad press, etc. -- who would it be, and why?

Slim Moon: Some people in my life who have disrespected me, they know who they are. Also, George W. Bush, he really needs an asswhupping. Oh, and especially Carson Daly.

What's the biggest risk you've ever taken? Why did you take it?

Slim Moon: Asking Portia Sabin to be my girlfriend when I'd only known her for five days. It was worth it, that's why I did it.

It's better to regret something you have done than it is to regret something you haven't done. What do you regret doing (other than agreeing to answer these questions)? Why did you do it?

Slim Moon: There's a couple people I regret I ever trusted.

Did you go to your high school prom? If so, who did you go with?

Slim Moon: I was a dropout but my friend Michelle Mack asked me anyways. I was in love with her but I was too much of a geek. She did let me have a goodnight kiss, though. Tall redheads are the best.

What movie would you recommend to absolutely anyone? Why?

Slim Moon: Groundhog Day. Cuz it is funny and uplifting and if you get it, you get the secret to a happy life.

For reasons we won't bother going into right now, you're going to be locked in the back of a truck for a sixteen hour drive between gigs. If you could have any musician, past or present, back there to keep you company, who would it be?

Slim Moon: Musicians aren't actually very good company but there are some who are good.

What is your strongest, most unshakeable belief?

Slim Moon: Life is amazing.

What's the worst band you've ever heard? Why do they suck?

Slim Moon: Creed. They are so bland and stupid you can't even think of specific things. Bands you can point at and list reasons for why they suck still have more going for them than something as stupid and bland as Creed.

If you were a porn star, what would your "porn name" be?

Slim Moon: Jennifer Hellgate.

You're on your way to a show, and all of a sudden you find yourself in the middle of a huge four-way battle between pirates, ninjas, robots and intelligent apes from the future. Your only hope of getting to your gig is to pick a side. Who do you join, and why?

Slim Moon: Lady pirates all the way.

If you could sponsor any beverage -- appear in their ads, receive a lifetime supply and never be seen drinking a competing product -- what beverage would it be?

Slim Moon: Water...or Spicy V-8.

What's the best venue you've ever played? What's the worst? Why?

Slim Moon: Best: the Living Room in Santa Barbara, cuz the kids were so awesome. Worst: Yo Yo A Go Go Volume 1 at the Surf Club. The sound guy's setup was so offensively neglectful it was really insulting. All the sound people left to go across the street to set up the Fugazi show, no one could hear my band including ourselves, and no-one was there to change any settings. There just was no sound person there whatsoever. In retrospect, we should have respected ourselves and refused to play.

What's wrong with Rolling Stone these days?

Slim Moon: They are pretty old but I still like some of their new songs, especially the Keith Richards pseudo-reggae ones.

Why are frogs amusing?

Slim Moon: They hop around and stuff.

You've traveled back in time and met yourself, age sixteen. What do you think?

Slim Moon: Poor kid.

Which would be worse: three hours on a bus full of four year-olds, or three hours on a bus full of eighty year-olds? Why?

Slim Moon: Both about the same. Depends on your mood at the time.

The US government is considering far more aggressive regulation of leather pants. Under the new rules, who should or shouldn't be allowed to wear them?

Slim Moon: No one should ever be allowed to wear leather pants except ladies in R&B trios such as Destiny's Child, 3LW, or TLC before Left Eye died.

What, in your opinion, is the best porn?

Slim Moon: I don't really understand the question. Am I supposed to say something like "gay porn is the best porn"?

What food item could you eat every day for the rest of your life without getting bored of it? What's so good about it?

Slim Moon: Water.

Will the next Star Wars movie suck? Why or why not?

Slim Moon: The new Star Wars movie is my favorite and I have high hopes for Episode 3. Episode 1 sucked.

How many roads must a man walk down before they call him a man?

Slim Moon: The answer my friend is blowing in the wind.

Everyone's replacing their least-favorite body parts with cybernetic ones. Which part(s) of your body would you replace?

Slim Moon: My skin flaps.

What topics or statements would inspire you to call in to a talk radio program?

Slim Moon: "No wait to get right on the air with your opinion and no annoying host to interrupt you halfway through your statement." That would get me calling right away.

What album(s) should everyone be given on their eighteenth birthday?

Slim Moon: The Smiths' Singles Volume 1 and 2; anything by the Shaggs.

· · · · · · ·

Slim says, "My current musical project is 'slimmoonSolo'; please note the only capitalized letter is the second 'S'."

-- George Zahora

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